Talking to a Mirror

 

 

 A person suffering from Alzheimer’s disease, at some point, loses their understanding of what a mirror is. Some of them would start talking to it.

 My mother had this symptom. She talked to a mirror.

 One day, after making dinner, I told her, “Please come here.”

My mother spoke to the mirror. “He says, ‘Please come here.’”

Then she was waiting for her reflection to come out of the mirror. She wanted to eat dinner with the person on the other side. She was very kind to her reflection.

 I heard it is not a common symptom, and some patients don’t show it.

 In my mother’s case, she always enjoyed talking to a mirror. It was not a problem. The mirror took care of her, and I could rest for a while. But in some cases, the patient might start a fight with the mirror. The mirror could break, and the patient could get injured. It could be a problem.

 I guess the most famous person who talked to a mirror could be the mother-in-law of Snow White. I suspect she was an Alzheimer’s patient.

 The magic looking-glass started to be partial to Snow White. The mother-in-law planned to kill Snow White.

 I wish the mother-in-law fought with the mirror and broke it. She might get injured. But it could be the best happy ending.

Picture by yopinco

Hallucination

 

             My grand uncle was a rather odd person. He was the husband of my grand aunt, who had Alzheimer’s disease and whom I took care of. His hobby was making model airplanes. Sometimes he made the airplanes fly on the riverside. He ran a camera shop, but he was not interested in selling cameras. He was interested in modifying cameras. He enjoyed taking unique pictures.

              When I was a child, he told me many jokes. His jokes were different from those of other adults. He never said any childish jokes, even to children. His jokes always surprised me. He and I were not related by blood, but if someone asked me, “Who do you most resemble among your relatives?” the answer would be him.

              He passed away when he was eighty-four years old. He needed to be in and out of the hospital repeatedly in those days. I lived away from him. I repeatedly visited the hospital when I received a message: “He is hovering between life and death now.”

              One day, when I visited his hospital, he told me a strange story: “When I gained consciousness, I had a hallucination.”

              I worried about him, but my uncle looked like he had enjoyed that.

              “It really amused me. It was almost like watching a movie for free.” He started to complain about the nurses and the doctors. “When I described the hallucination to the doctor, the nurse gave me a shot. Then my hallucination was gone. They did such an unnecessary thing!”

              I didn’t know how to reply to him.

              He continued, “Shu, can you keep it a secret?”

              I answered yes because he was hovering between life and death.

              He said, “Actually, I can see the hallucination a little bit, even now.” He pointed at the corner of the sickroom. “There is a railway platform.”

              I went out of the sickroom. I started to worry. Should I report to the doctor about the hallucination? If I did, the doctor would give him more shots. If he was enjoying that, should I let him experience the hallucination? Otherwise, for my grand uncle to receive proper medical treatment, should I leak the secret? Ultimately, I didn’t talk to anyone about that.

              A few weeks later, he left the hospital. He recovered. I didn’t know that he was still experiencing the hallucination after he had left the hospital.               A few years later, he passed away. I talked about his hallucination with my other relatives on the way to the crematory. I kept his secret until his death.

              I imagine that when we are hovering between life and death, we can experience wonderful hallucinations. It might be nice. It could be a preview of heaven.

Picture by freehand

Hunter

 

             When I was a student, many universities built campuses in the suburbs. I entered one of these universities.

              One day I took a walk outside of the university. I met two hunters. Each of them had a hunting dog and a hunting gun. That was the first time I had met a hunter. I said hello.

              One of the hunters gladly told me, “Today the pheasant hunting season opened.”

              I continued to walk for a while. I found a signboard that said, “Dear hunters, don’t open fire around here.” That might have been a great location for a university.

              Thirty years have passed now. I visited the university last year. I was surprised by the change of surroundings. There were many high-rise buildings. There used to be fields. I can’t meet hunters here anymore.

Picture by Igor Sapozhkov

Repeatedly Be Praised

 

              In 2007, my mother and my grand aunt were diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease at the same time. I lived with my mother. My grand aunt lived alone at her house, one hour and a half away from my house by train.  I took care of my mother at home. I also went to my grand aunt’s house to take care of her once a week.

              In the first stage of Alzheimer’s, a patient tends to tell the same story many times. My grand aunt didn’t have that symptom, but my mother did. I was tired of listening to my mother’s endless, repeating stories. She easily forgot that the same story had already been told many times to me.

              In those days, my grand aunt still had the ability to make a phone call to my house. After I visited her house, she called my mother and said thanks. She would call my mother many times. My mother also had Alzheimer’s disease, so she would forget that she had already received the call from my grand aunt. There might be endless phone calling. When I came home, my mother told me that my grand aunt called and said thanks to me.

              After a while, my mother started to say the same thing. She praised me again and again. I was tired of her repeating stories, but listening to her compliments for me repeatedly was not so bad.

              Taking care of Alzheimer’s patients is hard work, but most caregivers don’t have the opportunity to be praised often. Actually, I was repeatedly praised by my mother for a short time, but I should be allowed to enjoy this side benefit for a while.

Picture by studiolaut

Watch

 

              One day, when I was reading posts on Twitter, I found a comment that said, “When I became a member of society, my senior gave me . . . advice: ‘You should wear an expensive watch. It will give you many advantages.’ Then I spent all my money and bought an expensive watch. But it didn’t [give] me any advantage after all.”

              I think the senior didn’t have any malice. In the past, people evaluated others depending on their watches because only expensive watches were considered to be accurate. When I was a child, my first housework chore was setting the clocks according to the time displayed on the TV. In those days, before news programs started, they showed a clock and informed us of the accurate time. All our clocks were spring-wound clocks.

              At that time, only expensive watches showed accurate time. Wearing an expensive watch created appeal. “I am very careful about time management.” That could give the person much advantage. Cheap watches easily became too fast or too slow. However, there were drastic improvements in the watch industry. Even cheaper watches became accurate. The meaning of wearing an expensive watch changed.

              When I was a student, my senior gave me advice: “You should wear expensive shoes. You should have an expensive bag.” Is this advice valuable even now? Nowadays, even cheap bags and cheap shoes are not so bad.

              I must be careful about giving advice to young people. My advice could be outdated. First of all, most young people don’t wear watches now. If I could give advice to young people, it would be this: “Evaluating people depending on their props is not so effective. People are more complex than that.”

Picture by SIF

I Was Not Listening

 

 One of the biggest problems when taking care of an Alzheimer’s patient is money. When I need someone’s care, I want to use my money. But Alzheimer’s patients sometimes can’t use their own money.

 In Japan, when someone has Alzheimer’s disease, their fortunes are frozen. Even the family members who are taking care of the patient can’t use their money without undergoing complex legal procedures. This system was originally designed for protect patients. But sometimes it becomes a burden to the caregivers.

 We try to save up for our retirement, but it is very sad if our caregivers can’t use our savings.

 When my mother had Alzheimer’s disease, I was not familiar with this legal system. I happened to tell a clerk at a bank that my mother had Alzheimer’s. The clerk had to officially freeze my mother’s account. But the clerk said, “Let’s make this ‘I was not listening to that.’” Then he taught me how to do the paperwork as a family member who simply had an aged family member.

 At least, in Japan, a fair legal system for Alzheimer’s patients has not been completed. There might be various situations, and making a perfect system could be difficult. In our case, I took advices from a lawyer, a tax accountant, and public servants. We have to find a way case by case.

 I am not a clerk of a bank, but someday, I want to say, “Let’s make this ‘I was not listening to that” in a proper situation.

Picture by Sato

Sweet Home

 

 

 My mother had Alzheimer’s disease. At night, she used to say, “I have to go back to my home.”

 Actually, I lived with her in her home. She was already in her home, but she kept saying this. My parents gave so much effort to buy the house.

 I listened to her carefully and found out that the “home” she wanted to go back to was located in the next city where she spent her childhood. She left the house a half-century ago.

 When we have Alzheimer’s disease, we want to go back to the “home” we lived in when we were children. We don’t recognize our “home” which we spent so much money on. My mother’s father passed away when she was a child. It is possible that she imagined her father waiting for her at “home.” She could have simply wanted to see her father.

 I have moved to many places many times in my life. If I have Alzheimer’s disease, which house would I want to go back to? When I was a child, I lived in a small old rented house. There were leaks whenever it rained. That house was a cheap real estate property. But I might want to go back to that house when I have Alzheimer’s disease. At least, in that house, there was a happy family.

Picture by by gttkscg