Pacemaker

My father had to get a pacemaker put in. He had some problems with his heart. So I arranged for him to get an operation. After the operation, the doctor said to me, “The battery of the pacemaker will work for seven years. Seven years from now, let him have an operation to install a new battery.”

I started to worry. Seven years? Would I remember that?

I don’t know about your country’s system. In Japan, we have to update our driver’s license every five or so years. The police stations send us postcards to remind us. If we own cars, we need to get car inspections every two years. The car companies call us when it is time. How about passports? No one informs me when I need to update my passport. I am not a good passport holder. I have forgotten to update my passport many times over the years.

I didn’t know whether pacemakers fell in the same category as driver’s licenses, car inspections, or passports. If I forgot about the need to change the battery after seven years, my father would die. It was very frightening.

I actually can’t remember how we solved the problem. I think it is possible my father passed away before the seventh year. On the other hand, he was hospitalized many times before he passed away. Perhaps the hospital remembered to change the battery. I don’t remember. I do know that he didn’t die due to a low battery. So we must have solved the problem somehow.

We should have a system that can send reminder messages to our future selves.

 

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Picture by Fukuchi Illustration Factory

 

Where Is the Original?

Let me tell you about an old Japanese animation: Lupin the 3rd: The Mystery of Mamo was released in 1978. I was eight. I watched the animation on TV and loved it. It was a large-scale and dynamic story. Historically famous people appeared in it. The characters moved around the world. Even the White House Chief of Staff appeared in it. It included scenes that were inappropriate for children. I mean erotic scenes and violent scenes. I was a child. So of course, I loved those scenes.

Let me introduce the story: Lupin’s enemy was Mamo. Lupin killed Mamo many times, but Mamo returned every time. Actually, the different Mamos were clones. In the climactic scene, Lupin thought he had burned the final Mamo to death. He assumed that that was the original Mamo. But then he found a small machine in the burned remains of his body. So he suspected that that was not the original. So where was the original? 　

By the way, I usually write about caregiving for my mother. You don’t know much about my experience as a caregiver for my father. It was actually harder than caregiving for my mother: He needed hemodialysis, he struggled to walk and to hear, and he was stubborn.

I’m not joking. His stubbornness was the most difficult aspect of caregiving for him. I was always afraid of him. I always needed to butter him up in order to start caregiving.

One day, he passed away. I had taken care of him for sixteen years, during which we had lived together. Those had been the most humiliating days of my life, and they had finally ended.

After the funeral, we moved to the crematorium. Then, following the cremation, we had a ceremony. The family members met his ashes and bones. I had already experienced this a few times. So, there should have been nothing to be surprised about. But there was.

There was a small burned machine in my father’s ashes. Why? I was confused. I imagined all sorts of possibilities. Then I remembered Lupin the 3rd: The Mystery of Mamo.

Suddenly, it hit me: Maybe my father was not dead! This might be one of his clones! Where was the original?

Actually, that wasn’t it. The machine in the ashes was his pacemaker. I had almost forgotten that my father had had some heart problems. He’d had to get a pacemaker. I had arranged for the operation a few years before. But that was my first time to see the pacemaker itself.

Ultimately, my father was not a clone. But a part of his body was a machine. So we could have called him a cyborg.

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Japanese

Picture by ikorch

My Mother Used to Say

 

 My mother used to say, “When you evaluate a person, you should not mind what the person usually says. Watch carefully how the person reacts when a negative thing happens.”

 My mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease.

 My mother had a friend who was like a right-hand woman. Her husband is a professor at a university. She always said beautiful things.

 The day my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, the right-hand woman and I were in the consulting room at the hospital with my mother.

 On the way from the hospital, the right-hand woman suddenly yelled at me. She verbally abused me. She took her anger out on me. For the next twenty years, she never helped with caregiving for my mother.

 I have an elder brother. He is three years older than me. He always said beautiful things. I told him that our mother had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. He suddenly yelled at me. He verbally abused me. He took his anger out on me. For the next twenty years, he never helped with caregiving for our mother.

 I always say stupid things. But I never yelled at anyone, even when I knew my mother had Alzheimer’s disease. Anger should not be taken out on someone. From that day on, I lived with my mother for fourteen years. After that, I found a good nursing home. I commuted there every week for six years. I was the chief mourner. I built her grave.

 The right-hand woman and my elder brother were my mother’s favorite people. But I don’t know what they were doing while my mother was in crisis. Maybe they were busy saying beautiful things to do beautiful things.

Now, I am very happy that I almost lost contact with them.

 

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Japanese

Picture by Mono Abe

Banzai Three Cheers

 My parents hated banzai three cheers. They had memories of WW2. Many Japanese died saying banzai. My parents didn’t have a good impression of banzai three cheers. Some Japanese liberal people tend to hate banzai three cheers.

 Some people love banzai three cheers. However, I don’t see people doing banzai three cheers these days. When I was a child, I saw banzai three cheers in my town, at places like railway stations, or on TV.

 Sometimes it has political meaning. So, I am very careful to say banzai in a public place.

 One day, when Japan started the Reiwa era, my wife and I visited my wife’s parents’ house. We married two years before that day. I had built a good relationship with her parents. But I didn’t know them very well. 

The TV showed us the ceremony to celebrate the beginning of the Reiwa era. We ignored the TV and were chatting. But the ceremony had an atmosphere suggesting that they would start banzai three cheers soon.

 I felt a shudder. I had never talked with her parents about politics. I couldn’t guess whether they would do banzai three cheers with the people on TV or ignore them. Marriage is not just between husband and wife. I have to keep a good relationship with her parents. If I made a mistake in those kinds of fields, the mistake could cause serious problems.

 A person on TV screamed, “Banzai three cheers!” I recognized that both of her parents were ready for the banzai movement. Then my wife’s father, mother, and I said, “Banzai! Banzai! Banzai!” while raising our hands.

My wife was surprised at us and said, “What are you? I am scared.” My wife was not interested in banzai.

I thought I had a narrow escape. My parents-in-law love banzai three cheers. At that time, my father had already passed away. My mother already had Alzheimer’s disease. There was no need to care about their political ideas.

 I recognize that banzai three cheers is a kind of old call and response. I think it is the same as a singer saying, “Are you ready?” and the audience saying, “Yeah!” at a concert. Someone says, “Banzai three cheers!” and the other people say, “Banzai,” three times with their hands raised. It is said that the very first banzai three cheers were started by some students in 1889. Some students started it with a college vibe. I think it did not have a strong political meaning in the beginning.

 Banzai spread quickly. It has a long history. Now, some people hate it and some people love it. Maybe it is too old. Someone will invent a new type of call and response in the future.

 Japanese

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Picture by TKM

 

Retirement

I am now old enough to think about my retirement: We have to retire while we can. If we miss the chance to do so, many problems follow. 

My mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease when she was sixty-five years old. She was self-employed. She was also successful and famous. Her job had no retirement age, so no one could make her stop working.

All of the people around her, including me, were confused. She believed she could continue her work, but that was impossible. All the people around her except for me turned their backs on her. I took care of her for twenty years. She lost the opportunity to retire. However, I don’t recommend excessively early retirement.

I know a historical figure who retired too early. I think it might have been a mistake. The ancient Roman Emperor, Diocletian, was a good emperor except for his killing of many ancient Christians. He tried to keep Roma safe.

Diocletian created an efficient system to defend Roma: the tetrarchy. He divided the empire into four parts and put an emperor in charge of each part. It worked. The Roman Empire became peaceful again. He retired when he was fifty-five years old.

Diocletian gave the four empires to younger successors: emperors. These successors were not his blood relatives. He built a palace for his life in retirement. His hobby was gardening. He was not interested in politics any more. He enjoyed his hobby. What a wonderful life!

However, Diocletian’s successors started civil wars. They wanted to decide who among them was the real emperor. The Roman Empire ended up in chaos again. Diocletian had a wife and a daughter. They hovered in the chaos and were arrested. Eventually, they were executed. 

Diocletian was almost the only emperor who retired by choice in that period. I think giving up tremendous power is difficult. Many dictators hold on to power as long as they can. Diocletian was probably an unselfish person. He didn’t choose his successors from among his blood relatives. I think he tried to be fair.

If he had been a greedier person, he would have tried to be the emperor for as long as he could. And if he had chosen his successors from among his blood relatives, it is possible his wife and daughter would not have died tragically. 

Retirement is difficult. 

Japanese

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Picture by Olga Kurbatova

 

Marco

One day, my wife came back from the salon. Her new hairstyle was like that of Marco in an animation.

Let me guess how old you are. If you thought of Marco Rossi from 3000 Leagues in Search of Mother, you might be the same age as me. It was originally an Italian story. Japan made the TV animation in 1976. In it, Marco’s hair is very short with cute bangs. It is a good style for an active woman.

If you thought of Maruko from Chibi Maruko-chan, you might be younger than me. The animation started in 1990. “Marco” and “Maruko” are pronounced similarly in Japanese. It could be a nickname for a girl in Japan. Her hair is bobbed. It is also a cute hair style for women.

If you thought of Marco the Phoenix from ONE PIECE, you are much younger than me. It started in 1999. Marco the Phoenix is immortal, but he is getting old. He needs glasses for the aged. His hairstyle is a long faux hawk. I am not sure this hairstyle is good for a woman.

My wife’s new hairstyle was like that of Marco from ONE PIECE: a long fauxhawk. My wife loves radical hairstyles.

I loved Marco the Phoenix and her new hairstyle. But her mother didn’t like it. My wife is a strong woman, but her mother is stronger. Her mother scolded her very much. Please imagine the situation: If you have a daughter and she comes back from the salon with a long faux hawk, you could be shocked. During that time, my wife had to wear a cap whenever she met her mother.

Perhaps the different versions of Marco had the same issue: something to do with their mothers. Marco Rossi from 3000 Leagues in Search of Mother traveled for long, looking for his mother. Maruko’s mother sometimes scolded her. As for Marco from ONE PIECE… I haven’t watched an episode in which his mother featured. But if she was alive, she might have said, “I don’t care whether you are the Phoenix or not. Quit being a pirate. Get a real job.” And Marco might have responded, “Mom, this is my life, and I need to figure it out.”

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Japanese

Picture by Sue Hoshino

A New Type of Cucumber

I eat vegetable salad at every dinner for my health. One day, my wife had to work until nighttime. She is a stage lighting artist. People who work in theater need to work late.

I prepared my dinner by myself. Of course, I made my salad. I love to put cucumber in my salad. I found a strange cucumber in our refrigerator. I thought it might be a new type of cucumber. Maybe my wife bought it for me. I felt it might be supergood for my health. I added the cucumber to my salad.

My salad was ready. I ate it up. The new type of cucumber was harder than the old type of cucumber I knew. But it was delicious.

The next day, my wife had a day off. When she was at home at dinner time, she would prepare our dinner. So she started to cook our dinner. Then she asked me, “Do you know where the zucchini is?”

I had never seen that kind of vegetable. I answered, “I don’t know. Maybe it is under or behind something.”

My wife solved the mystery. The criminal was me. I had eaten up the zucchini, thinking it was a cucumber. Oh! That was the zucchini!

Let me tell you some very important information. If you heat zucchini, it is more delicious. But you can eat raw zucchini. I am living proof of this.

Japanese

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Picture by T.H