The Hare and the Tortoise

 

Once, I worked as an English teacher. One day, I was almost late, so I took a taxi. I told the taxi driver to go to the English school. The elderly taxi driver asked me, “Are you an English teacher?” Then he started to tell me his story.

When he was a student, he wanted to work for a hotel. Many non-Japanese travelers would stay in the hotel. So he studied English very hard. He continued, “I can recite ‘The Hare and the Tortoise,’ which was in my textbook. May I recite it now?”

I listened to his recitation of “The Hare and the Tortoise” as an English teacher. Amazingly, from the beginning to the end, there was no mistake. He was very fluent. Driving a taxi is a great job. But if his dream came true, he would be a great hotel employee.

I was lucky to be able to continue my English education. I became an English teacher. But I can’t remember a single page from the textbook I used when I was a student. I am not sure I can recite “The Hare and the Tortoise” fluently without making a mistake.

Perhaps I need to study the fundamentals again. Maybe every time the driver drives an English teacher, he practices “The Hare and the Tortoise.” Practice makes perfect.

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Picture by Yaiba lime

 

Army of Apes

 

When I was a child, I had a favorite Japanese TV drama, Army of Apes. The main characters were human, but they traveled a world dominated by apes. I vaguely remember the beginning and end of the drama.

A few years later, I saw the American movie, Planet of the Apes, on TV. It was very similar to the TV drama. I assumed the American movie had stolen the Japanese idea because I had known the Japanese idea for a few years.

As you know, I was wrong. The truth was the complete opposite. The Japanese drama stole the idea from American movie. The movie company didn’t sue the Japanese drama company. The latter were lucky.

Dear creators, you should not steal someone else’s idea! However, I’m probably not the best person to give that piece of advice.

Once, I worked as a scriptwriter for stages and games. I confess: When I was young, I stole someone’s ideas for my work. I didn’t realize it was a crime. Those were my favorite materials. I assumed they were parts of me. I was lucky no one sued me. My works have never achieved monetary success. So perhaps I wasn’t worth enough to justify taking me to court.

Now I really care about original creation.

Dear creators, we have to look over our works carefully. Even if no one sues us, plagiarism leaves a bitter taste in the mouth.

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Jogging in Germany

 

 

When I was young, I jogged almost every day.

Once, I traveled to Kiel in Germany. I jogged in the morning. When I jogged, I saw a beach. I thought that jogging on the beach might be fun. I then started jogging on the beach.

There was a rocky stretch. At that time, I was in my twenties. I assumed I could jump from rock to rock easily, but I found it very difficult. Somehow all the rocks jutted upward. I couldn’t jump from rock to rock. I couldn’t even walk on the rocks.

I climbed and went down one rock to another rock. I knew I had to retreat and find a different way, but I was a reckless young man. I believed I could accomplish it. I tried for a while. Then a man called me from the land.

The land side of the rocky stretch was surrounded by barbed wire. The man invited me to a door leading through the barbed wire. The inside was a lawn. The man led me to the opposite side of the rocky stretch. That way, I could continue my jogging on the sandy beach.

At that time, I had no idea about this incident. Now I understand that I was in a military base in Germany. Kiel was a famous naval port. The rocky stretch was not a natural scene. The rocks had been put there for defense. Of course, I couldn’t walk on the rocks. They were designed for this.

The inside of the barbed wire revealed a base. There might have been secrets. I should not have trespassed there. The man who had invited me might have been a soldier. He didn’t wear a military uniform. Officially, he should not have invited me inside.

I should not have done that. If it was a different country or a different time, I would have been in a dangerous situation. I had tried to trespass a military base. It might have been an act of suicide. It was the 1990s.

I wish for lasting peace. In a peaceful world, even if a foreign man tries to trespass a military base, a soldier invites the man inside. I pray for world peace.

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My Student Was a Magician

 My mother ran an English school for children in our house. I didn’t succeed at it, but sometimes I held English classes for adults.

One of my students was a magician. He needed to study English to perform his magic abroad. His magic was not the Western style. His magic was the traditional Japanese style. I didn’t know there were magic traditions in Japan. He was popular in English-speaking countries.

He needed a very specialized form of English for magicians. He was a professional magician, and his magic was great. We searched for and studied the most effective expressions for his magic together. Yes, I am a good teacher!

One day I asked him a question: “How do you do this magic?”

However, he didn’t answer. Why? Students need to answer teachers’ questions honestly. He said he didn’t have a choice. Magicians have a strict rule. They can’t tell the secrets of their magic except to other magicians. Even a teacher can’t be told these secrets. If I really needed to know these secrets, I had to be his pupil. I needed to be a magician myself.

Teachers always play losers’ parts. We just teach something. In most cases, teaching materials are not secret.

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TGIS

When I lived with my mother, who had Alzheimer’s disease, I always looked forward to the day I left her for the short stay.

One day, after I saw off my mother’s ride to the short stay, I did a fist pump and shouted, “Yahoo!” One of the neighbors saw it. I was embarrassed.

Sometimes I hated myself. I should not have been happy because I left my mother, but I changed my mind. Even a person who studied hard and got an ideal job might look forward to the holiday “TGIF.” Japanese people call it “floral Friday.” Everyone loves a holiday.

Caregiving to my mother was not my ideal job. I didn’t have a choice. I loved and respected my mother, but it didn’t mean I could give her unlimited caregiving. I could enjoy my vacation. I should enjoy my holiday. “Thank God it’s short stay.” TGIS.

Dear friends who are giving care to their families, you need vacations. You are doing a great job. You should be proud of it. You should confidently enjoy your holiday.

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Air Abacus

 

When I was a child, most of my classmates went to abacus classes or calligraphy classes after school. I went to a calligraphy class.

When I was a junior high school student, I was a member of the student council. One day, when we were working on a school event, we needed to do a calculation. Of course, we didn’t have any cell phones or smartphones. I knew there was a calculator in the teachers’ office, but it was a very expensive treasure. We couldn’t borrow it. So I tried to write down the calculation and solve it.

However, one of the council members said, “Let me calculate it.”

He started doing mental calculations. He had studied the abacus, but his mental calculation style was very funny. There wasn’t any abacus, but he moved his fingers as if he had one. It was an “air abacus.” I had no idea about the abacus, so I laughed about it—but his calculations were always right.

The student council often needed to do calculations. Every time we requested him to do mental calculations, I asked him, “Do you need to move your fingers during calculations?”

He answered, “Yes, I need to.”

I doubted him because the mental calculations were done in his brain. Fingers were not related. I thought I needed to do an experiment.

One day, as usual, we asked him to do some calculations. He started the mental calculations while moving his fingers. I slapped his moving fingers.

He shouted, “I am confused!” He really needed to move his fingers during calculations.

Calculations and fingers are related to people who have studied the abacus. I am thinking that the same thing might be said about air guitarists. If you slap an air guitarist’s fingers, the air guitarist might say, “I am confused!”

Dear friends, don’t disturb air players.

 

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Laughing with a Computer

 

 It must be in the 2000s. My mother asked me to teach her how to use a computer.

 In the 1990s, personal computers rapidly spread. In the 2000s, some people who could not use computers felt inconvenienced. My mother was one of them. So she asked me to teach her how to use one.

 Frankly speaking, she was a bad student. Studying a new thing may be difficult for an old person. It is possible to think that my mother’s Alzheimer’s disease already started at that time. She had the diagnosis in 2007.

 I taught her the same thing many times, but she never memorized it. Every time I start the lecture, I needed to explain from the beginning. I could not see her progress. I believed she would never master blind touch.

 At that time, An American company started to sell Japanese voice input software in Japan, which was earlier than Japanese companies. Nowadays, most smartphones have voice input systems. But at that time, it was an epoch-making product. It cost $800. I was tired of my mother’s lack of progress. I decided to buy this software. If she could use it, there was no need to do blind touch.

 The first day of using the software, I did the initial setting. I let my mother wear an earphone with a mic. I let her read her speech draft. Our computer started to input the speech. It worked!

 But the software made a stupid mishearing. It was almost a joke. My mother looked and laughed, “Ha, ha, ha.”

The software listened to her voice and inputted “ha, ha, ha.” She watched the screen and laughed again, “Ha, ha, ha.” Again, the computer entered “ha, ha, ha.” That was an endless hell.

 We gave up using this software. It was too complicated and not of high quality.

 The $800 software gave us laughter, and it was never used. My mother quit studying the computer. If she needed one, I used the computer instead of her.

 If we had the money, with $800 we could go on a short trip and have a delicious meal.

 

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