Dishwashing Liquid

One day, when I was a kindergartener, a teacher said to us, “We will play at the pool tomorrow. You can bring your water gun.” 

I didn’t have a water gun, so I asked my mother to buy one. But she had another idea: “If you have an empty dishwashing liquid bottle, you can use it as a water gun.” 

The next day, everyone except me came with a water gun. I brought an empty dishwashing liquid bottle. 

There were fatal differences between the water guns and the bottle, for instance, their ranges. The bottle pushed water out over a very short range. The water guns launched water over a very long range. I was no match for the other kids. This is one of my bitter memories.

After that day, the teacher said that none of us would ever bring water guns again. We played at the pool without water guns. I didn’t know why. But now I wonder if it was because of us.

Perhaps the teachers saw a miserable child playing with a bottle instead of a water gun. They might have thought, “He must be from an economically poor family. His parents can’t afford a water gun. We have treated him unkindly. From now on, we will never use water guns.”

If that was the case, they were wrong. I am actually from a relatively rich family. My mother was a busy woman. She was an ideas woman too. She had no time to buy a water gun, so she came up with that idea. 

If that was what happened, I apologize to the teachers and kindergarteners. They had a pool, but for safety reasons, they couldn’t fill it with enough water. They could have only enough water to wet their toes. No one could swim in the pool. So asking the children to bring water guns was a nice way of letting them play safely. Without the water guns, the shallow pool was useless.

If you have little children, give them water guns.

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Picture by Kobito

Troll

In 1998, I was a student in California. At that time, free email accounts were highly accessible. Most people started having email accounts. People started to buy things online through Amazon.

In 1999, I returned to Japan. Most people didn’t have email accounts. Most people didn’t even know about Amazon. It took a few years for these same changes to occur in Japan. If something happened in the United States, the same thing would happen in Japan a few years later.

I met an American in Japan, and we become friends on Facebook. In 2016, those living in the United States had their presidential elections. This friend posted a short comment about the elections on Facebook. Immediately, an anonymous person posted objections to him. These objections were long passages. I was surprised by this anonymous person’s typing speed. I understood later that this was because of the “copy and paste” function.

I soon learned from a Japanese news program that this was a “political troll.” These elections were changing the United States. I thought that the same thing would happen in Japan in a few years.

In 2024, during a special election, a party obstructed a rival candidate’s speech on the streets. Tsubasa no To used a microphone and screamed negative comments in the middle of this candidate’s speech. We can call them “trolls,” but this was not online. It was not too primitive an incident either.

I would assume that Japan is a highly developed society with large advances in technology. Whenever something happens in the United States, the same thing would happen in Japan a few years later—but not necessarily in the same form.

Picture by Tuneyuki Kanata

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Diagnosis

The symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease hardly appear at the beginning. At the early stages, patients of this disease make the same mistakes as healthy people often do. In the case of Alzheimer’s disease, these mistakes gradually increase. In such a case, even a medical specialist can’t diagnose it decisively. It is simply difficult, and diagnosing a person with Alzheimer’s disease has a major effect on the patient and the people involved. In my mother’s case, most doctors avoided diagnosing her with Alzheimer’s disease. I felt that people began to say she had had the problem for a while —her trading partners, her coworkers, her friends, and her secretary, in that order.

I lived with my mother, but I hadn’t suspected that she had Alzheimer’s disease. She had always been a forgetful person since I was a child. At that time, we were tired because we needed to cover my grandmother’s caregiving. So I had assumed that my mother was simply tired. I observed that her forgetfulness increased but thought that this might be temporary.

That could be normalcy bias. People tend toward normalcy bias during disasters. When a disaster happens, some people often think, “This is still okay” or “ I will be okay” or “This time, it will be okay.” Then when it’s too late, these people can’t react correctly or can’t escape the situation. This mentality might even increase the damage of the disaster.

We met many doctors. It took about three years for us to find a doctor who diagnosed my mother with Alzheimer’s disease. I was surprised, but I still took an optimistic view of the situation. Back then, I didn’t have enough knowledge about Alzheimer’s disease. I believed I could continue my teaching job and acting on stage, but I needed to quit both a few years later.

One can say I lost a chance to escape from my mother’s Alzheimer’s disease. My mother had a lot of friends, and I had an elder brother. I had assumed they would help us, but actually, no one helped us. They had already escaped from us. Most of them even ignored us.

I missed the chance to escape this situation, but I fought my mother’s Alzheimer’s disease for over twenty years with my mother. I let her live out the rest of her natural life.

Sometimes I regret those twenty years—I wish I escaped like other people had—but I look on the bright side. At least I know who really cared about my mother. My mother’s address book has the names of over 1,500 people, but only about ten people worried about my mother and constantly contacted me. I will treasure these people for as long as I can.

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Performance Time

When I started working as a part-time stage actor, I had assumed that longer performance times were better. If the audience pays the same amount of money for their tickets, longer performances might be to their advantage.

Now I think this is not a good idea. I think there is such a thing as a moderate performance period. When I was young, I didn’t care about this. There is a big problem with longer performance times: bathroom breaks.

The mini-theater of which I am part usually doesn’t have breaks during the show. It is a small theater. If an audience member stands up and leaves their seat during the show, this can disturb the performance.

If a theater doesn’t have breaks, I think a moderate performance period may be about an hour and a half. Performance times longer than this challenge my urinating limit. For instance, when the performance reaches its climax, “bathroom” might be the only one thing I can think of. After the show, the actors see off the audience at the lounge. I would want to offer my compliments to the actors, but first, I would have to run to the bathroom.

I try my best to reduce my bathroom breaks. I cut down on drinking fluids. I go to the bathroom right before the show starts. Still, sometimes I can’t keep up. Once, I watched a show whose performance time was three hours, with no breaks. It was pure hell. I can’t remember anything about the show except for needing to go to the bathroom.

Overall, moderate performance times might be essential for good performances.

 

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Picture by Tyrol

Family Restaurant

Three friends and I have dinner once a month. Our main purpose for these get-togethers is to talk to one another. We visit a different family restaurant every time we meet. We evaluate the restaurants we visit, and I post the results on social media. We have visited over seventy restaurants.

The highest scorer is Bonne Odeur’s main shop. The lowest scorer is the Loyal Host Gokiso shop.

In front of Bonne Odeur, a sign says, “This is the main shop,” but I know they don’t have any other shops. I heard they once tried to have a franchise, but they gave up. On the other hand, Loyal Host is one of the biggest nationwide chains of family restaurants, with two hundred twenty-three branches in Japan.

I believe this might be the key difference. Bonne Odeur has just one shop. The restaurant’s owner and workers might be acquaintances. The owner’s passion and directions are easily understood by the workers.

However, at the Loyal Host restaurant, most of the workers have never met the owner. Of course, I know there might be good workers at Loyal Host, but it might be difficult for the owner to recognize who these good workers are. So there might be variation in the quality of the workers.

All chain operations might have the same problem. Chain operations have big advantages. A chain group can buy foodstuffs at cheaper prices, and it is easy for the group to raise brand awareness. However, it is difficult to maintain each worker’s motivation.

There is a Japanese saying: “The taste of tempura might change when it is brought to the customer.” A restaurant needs good workers for each section. I guess Bonne Odeur gave up their chain operations because they wanted to serve delicious food to their customers.

It is possible for someone to think that big businesses and small businesses are the same. Sometimes I would be disappointed by a big business. Sometimes a small business would be better than I expected. Still, at least I can say the owner of Loyal Host is richer than the owner of Bonne Odeur.

 

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Towel

In my parents’ house, the rules about towels were very simple. We used “dusters,” “towels,” and “wiping rags.” We wiped the table with a duster. We cleaned the floor with a wiping rag. Towels had various uses and didn’t belong in any category.

When I married my wife, I was surprised because she had complicated rules about towels. There was a separate towel for the bath, the sink, the kitchen, and the toilet. The design of each group of towel has unity. I had to memorize which towels belonged to which groups. I couldn’t use a kitchen towel in the sink. When I did laundry, I had to keep the towels separate depending on which group they belonged to.

If I made a mistake, my wife scolded me: “How many times do I have to tell you?!” It was difficult for me. I have never paid attention the design of any towels. For wiping the table and floor, she never used cloth. She used disposal paper towels.

After a few years, my wife held up a kitchen towel and said to me: “This towel is too old. You can use this after bathing.”

I protested: “I want to use a new Imabari towel after bathing!”

Some people say that Imabari towels are the best towels in Japan.

I said this as a joke. But my wife actually bought Imabari towels for me.

We have been married for twelve years. Even now, I use an Imabari towel after bathing.

I recommend that you use Japanese Imabari towels. They are the best towels. They are extremely soft, but a bit expensive.

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The Last Wish

Once, I lived with my grandmother. She was a nice lady who had high intelligence. She passed away at ninety-six years old. She could walk by herself and didn’t have dementia. But she had a problem with her respiratory organs, so she was constantly in and out of the hospital.

When she was in the hospital, I visited her as often as possible. She was usually sleeping. One time, I didn’t wake her up because I didn’t want to disturb her sleeping. But after that, she scolded me. She always wanted to be woken up when someone visited her.

One day, I visited my grandmother in the hospital. When I walked into her sickroom, she woke up and sat up. She opened her eyes wide and said in a strong tone: “Dying in a such place is ugly. Take me to our home.”

 I couldn’t make that decision by myself. I called my family members, but I couldn’t contact anyone. I tried to find a doctor, but the doctor in charge was not at the hospital. I found a nurse and talked to her about my grandmother.

 My grandmother grasped the nurse’s arm and said she wanted to go home. The nurse was surprised and said, “You are strong.”

 I thought about my grandmother. It was possible that somehow, she realized that her death was near. It was also possible that she simply had a nightmare. The nurse was surprised that my grandmother’s hands were so powerful. It could mean she might have a strong desire to live. If she recovered, she could return to our home with the doctor’s permission.

 As a result of these thoughts, I decided not to take my grandmother home. At that time, our house was not in good enough condition to take care of her. My mother had Alzheimer’s disease.

I asked the nurse to calm my grandmother. And I left the hospital alone.

The next morning, my grandmother passed away.

I still regret this. I should have believed my grandmother. I couldn’t fulfill her last wish.

I found her will in the things she left. My mother was her only child, but because of her Alzheimer’s disease, I carried out my grandmother’s will faithfully.

I hope this might be her last wish.

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Picture by Akemi Zyuzi