A Picture for a Funeral

 　　　I used to live with my paternal grandmother. When she passed away, my mother was in trouble. She could not find any picture of my grandmother for the funeral. My mother and my grandmother hadn’t built a good relationship. Then my mother hadn’t taken her picture at all—but a funeral needs a picture.

After my paternal grandmother passed away, we started living with my maternal grandmother. My mother, having learned from her experience with my paternal grandmother, took my maternal grandmother’s picture all the time. My grandmother hated that. I agreed with her. It was almost like saying, “Your death is almost here. I am taking your picture because I will use it for your funeral.” It was not nice to do that to an old person.

My maternal grandmother lived a long life. She passed away when she was ninety-six years old. Unfortunately, my mother had already been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. So all the procedures related to my grandmother’s death fell to me. The undertaker asked me for a picture of my grandmother. I picked one of her pictures, which was an okay picture.

After the funeral, I needed to clean up my grandmother’s room. There, I found something shocking. I found two pictures of my grandmother for her funeral. They had already been stretched and framed. Why two pictures? Because she wore a Western-style dress in one picture and a Japanese traditional-style dress in the other picture.

These were beautiful pictures. I am sure these were taken by a professional photographer at a photo studio. My grandmother had prepared these by herself. I am sure my grandmother had talked about these pictures with my mother.

A long life might be nice. We can have enough time to prepare for our deaths. However, in my grandmother’s case, she was unlucky. She had prepared beautiful pictures for her funeral, but her only child, my mother, had Alzheimer’s disease before her death. My mother forgot about the pictures and kept taking pictures of my grandmother. My grandmother hated having her pictures taken by my mother. It makes sense.

We don’t know when we will die, but we can prepare nice pictures for special occasions at any time. I suggest an annual photo event for families. Once a year, all family members should wear their best clothes and sport their best hairstyles. Then everyone should visit a photo studio, where a professional photographer can shoot the best pictures of them. This might help make the best pictures for a funeral.

If you don’t have a funeral, you are lucky! These pictures might contain the best memory of you.

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Picture by Sue Hoshino