Shu-ichiro

 

 

 My name is Shujiro.

 I was named using a traditional Japanese naming style. If you are familiar with the style, you could guess that I am the second born son. “Jiro” means “second man.”

　I have one older brother and no sisters.

 Japanese traditional society tended to respect a firstborn son, because he would take over his parents’ work and property. Parents tended to educate and raise the firstborn son with great care. On the other hand, sons born later tended to be looked down upon.

 My father aged and had physical disabilities. My mother had Alzheimer’s disease. My brother and I should have taken care of them together—with my brother’s cooperation. But my elder brother ran away from difficult situations. He didn’t do anything. He didn’t help us financially. He ignored us.

 I took care of my parents, living with them for twenty years. I was a teacher and a part-time stage actor, but I quit those roles to focus on caregiving. I was hospitalized a few times because of the stress caused by caregiving. My brother never helped us. I wanted to write negative things about him, but I will not. I want to keep my writing clean.

 When I started to live with my parents and take care of them, I noticed a strange phenomenon. Some people started to mistake my name. Hospitals, temples, welfare facilities, and the neighborhood started to send me mail with the wrong name: “Shu-ichiro.” Hey! My name is Shujiro!

 “Ichiro” means “first man.”

 In Japan, firstborn sons were treated as special, and in return they were expected to take care of their parents.

 I took care of my parents. People started to think I was the firstborn son. “Shujiro” is not a proper name for the firstborn son. Maybe they thought it was a mistake. They corrected the “wrong name” to the “right name,” “Shu-ichiro.”

 When we had been seeing my mother’s doctor for over ten years, I talked about my family situation with him. The doctor was surprised and shouted, “Are you the secondborn son?” He had assumed I was the firstborn son.

 I respect Japanese traditions. But sometimes traditions include negative things. Most Japanese vaguely understand that discrimination is bad. We should not judge people based on race, ethnicity, gender, or religion. But most Japanese people judge sons based on birth order.

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Picture by roppu chop