Starting to Hate My Favorite Tunes

 

When I lived with my mother who had Alzheimer’s disease, I needed to be very punctual. I helped her at the same hour every day with tasks like waking her up, taking to the toilet, sending her to day service, and serving her dinner. I set alarms on my smartphone, using my favorite tunes to let me know when I needed care of her.

Being a caregiver for an Alzheimer’s person is not an exciting job. Actually, I hated it. Escorting my mother to the toilet was unpleasant. Supporting her with meals was boring. I cared for my mother for over ten years. The alarms always disturbed my private time. It felt like they made me take care of her.

             When my mother was in day service or short stay, I listened to my favorite tunes on my smartphone. I used the shuffle function, and sometimes my smartphone played the tunes I used as alarms for caring for my mother. When I heard the tunes, I thought, “I need to go take care of her.” At first, these were my favorite tunes, but I ended up connecting them to caregiving. I started to hate my favorite tunes.

             Now, my mother is in a nursing home. A few years have passed. Do I still hate the tunes I used as alarms?

             I actually can’t remember which tunes they were. My favorite tunes have become my favorite tunes again.

             That is nice. If I hated the tunes forever because I connected them to caregiving, I would feel bad for the artists who created them.

             I thank the artists. I got through the long hard caregiving because of the tunes. You know what? Music has actual powers.

Picture by mounel

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