When my mother was diagnosed with
Alzheimer’s disease, I talked with a couple who ran a photo studio near our
home. They also had an aged mother who had Alzheimer’s disease.
One day, they talked to me with
big smiles: “Finally, we decided to put our mother in a nursing home.”
Actually, in those days, I had
just started my caregiving for my mother. So I didn’t understand the meaning of
their words and big smiles. I couldn’t understand why they looked so happy.
They had left their mother.
For over ten years later, I had
lived with my mother and had taken care of her. I decided to put my mother in a
nursing home. I was released from hard caregiving. An Alzheimer’s patient needs
twenty-four hours of care a day. I was released from these busy days. An
Alzheimer’s patient can easily create accidents. I was released from this heavy
responsibility.
I finally reached this day safely.
From the next day on, my life had drastically changed. I didn’t have any
difficulty. I had a normal life. Those were wonderful days. I wanted to share
this great feeling with someone.
I quit it. I felt really happy,
but this feeling was difficult to understand. Only someone who had a difficult
time during caregiving could understand this. From an objective point of view,
I had just left my mother. My mother’s disease got worse. I gave up taking care
of her at home. I should not express my happiness with a big smile. No one
should say “Congratulations” to me.
The goal of caregiving could be
leaving a nursing home, a hospital, or a funeral. Even if the caregivers worked
hard for a long time, the result could be a tragic end. I think this is one of
the hardest parts of caregiving.
Picture by koti
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