“Water” in the Musician’s World

 

 In the 2000s, I had the opportunity to sing a song for an audience to the accompaniment of a big band of about thirty musicians.

 I had some experience as an actor, but as a singer, I was relatively inexperienced. I was very nervous on the day of the performance.

 In the green room, I knew no one. I was almost trembling with tension. There was a musician with a plastic bottle. He was drinking a clear liquid from it. The bottle’s label had been taken off. Instead, the word “water” had been written on it by hand. I found that interesting and asked him about it.

 “You wrote ‘water’ on your bottle. In the musician’s world, there must be a clear liquid that is easy to mistake for water? Am I right?”

 He smiled and said, “Sure! You want to drink some?”

 I was very thirsty because I was nervous. And I trusted him. So, assuming that it was water, I took a long swig.

It turned out to be sake, Japanese alcohol.

 Apparently, the musician was drinking sake but wanted to hide it from the others because he wasn’t supposed to drink alcohol before the performance. So he put sake in a plastic bottle and wrote “water” on it. Then he pretended it was drinking water.

 Under normal circumstances, I couldn’t drink alcohol at all. My face turned red, and I staggered. On this occasion, I ultimately sang the song to the audience. I actually can’t remember the details. Apparently, our performance was good. All I can say is at least the alcohol eliminated my tension.

 Tonight, please enjoy “water” in the musician’s world. As for me, I will never drink that “water” again.

Picture by studiostoks

Part-Time Job Interview

 In the 1980s, I was a university student. One day I had an interview for a part-time job. There were several interviewers. One of them was my mother’s old friend. I hadn’t known that he was working there, and he didn’t recognize me. I thought it would be rude for me to ignore him. So I said, “Hi. I’m the son of your friend!” He seemed shocked. He expressed surprise like an old-style comedian. I thought he was overreacting.

 Today, I am as old as he was then. I could be a job interviewer. And the child of one of my friends could come to me for a job interview. If that happened to me, I would be as surprised as an old-style comedian. Friends’ children grow up too fast!

 On the day of my interview, I told the other interviewers stories about my mother’s friend. They were stories that I had heard from my mother. It was a nightmare for him.

 On second thought, I could never be an interviewer!

Picture by maimu

 

Six Doctors

 In 1988, I used to enjoy riding a racing bicycle. One day, I fell hard. I was brought to a hospital.

 Because I had hit my head, I had to get an MRI scan. For the first time in my life, I saw an MRI scanner. It felt like I was in a recording studio that had a fish bowl. The doctor was in the fish bowl, manipulating the MRI scanner. I lay on a movable board.

 It was taking a very long time to get the test done. So I looked at the fish bowl again. There were three doctors in it, and they are arguing very seriously. I started to worry about my condition. I waited for a very long time, anxiously watching the fish bowl again. This time, there were six doctors, and they were almost fighting. I heard some of their words. They said, “There’s nothing we can do about it…”

 That was when I realized I must be dying. The facility was a relatively big general hospital, and its six doctors could do nothing to help me. My condition must be hopelessly bad. I was eighteen years old at the time: too young to die. As I waited for the announcement of my cruel fate, I cried my eyes out.

 A few minutes later, one of the doctors came out of the fish bowl and said,

“We’re sorry about this. The machine was broken. Please wait for more a few minutes.”

 OMG! The MRI machine was broken. Of course, there was nothing the six medical doctors could do about it!

 After a week, I was discharged from the hospital.

Photo by　Zinkevych

Breaking the Ice

 

 In May 1996, I was a graduate student. One day, I got the opportunity to work for an academic conference as a front desk clerk. Based on my experience, the job of a front desk clerk at a conference was easier than that of a theater clerk: We didn’t have to handle tickets or cash. We had a list of the conference participants. Then we would ask the guests for their names and check the list.

 It so happened that the girl next to me at the front desk was tremendously beautiful! Apparently, she was an undergraduate student. That was unusual as graduate students typically worked for the conference. If she was an undergraduate, perhaps she was not only beautiful but also highly intelligent. She had to be an excellent student or probably wanted to be a scholar. But she was not the talkative type, and I couldn’t be talkative, not with an attractive lady. So we worked silently. But I really wanted to break the ice.

 As I reviewed the list, I came across a surname that I didn’t know how to read. I had never seen such unusual surname before. A Japanese surname typically consists of two letters, like mine: Miura（三浦）. But that surname comprised four letters. I had never seen a four-letter surname before. That gave me an idea: I would ask her what the right way to read the surname was. I was sure most people couldn’t read it. So we would discuss its pronunciation. It could be a nice ice-breaker.

I asked, “Could you tell me how we pronounce this surname?”

She immediately answered, “I will handle this.” Then she stopped talking, and we were silent again.

 I could not understand why she reacted that way. Perhaps she figured out how to pronounce the surname immediately? She was an intelligent lady. But, if she had figured out what the answer was, why hadn’t she shared it with me?

　A few days later, I found out why she had reacted like that. The difficult surname was her father’s name. In those days, she was single. So it was also her surname. She was working for the conference because her father was a member of the association. Furthermore, he was the one of the most famous professors in the society. So it truly was shameful that I was a graduate student but didn’t know him and actually asked his daughter how to read their family name.

 Later, I saw her at university a few times, but I couldn’t say hello because I was too embarrassed.

 As for her father, the professor, he became even more famous as the years went by. Sometimes I watch him on TV now. He is one of the most influential people in Japan.

 Every time I see him on TV, I think to myself, “He might have been my father-in-law if I’d had more guts with his daughter.”

Photo by　xiangtao

Three Times the Speed!

 

It is said that Alzheimer’s patients age three or four times faster than other people. So the average lifespan of Alzheimer’s patients is about ten years.

 Wait a minute! My mother was diagnosed eleven years ago. If she had aged three times faster, she would be one hundred and two years old today. And if she had aged four times faster, she would be one hundred and thirteen years old today. It would have been something on the level of a world record.

 My mother doesn’t have any serious illness except Alzheimer’s disease. She looks her age. She doesn’t look over one hundred years old.

 Alzheimer’s disease is a mysterious disease. People say many things about it, but some of them are not true.

Picture by FUTO

Debate

 First of all, I don’t like debate very much. Even when you beat a competitor in a debate, he or she does not change his or her mind. In my opinion, he or she simply develops hard feelings after the debate. I am convinced that no one except politicians enjoys debating.

 When I was a graduate student at university, a professor from the debate club of a famous university would allow us to debate in his class. One day, I let slip that I was paying a subscription fee to NHK.

 NHK is the Japanese public TV broadcaster and insists that, if you have a TV in Japan, you must pay the subscription fee. But it is a somewhat controversial topic. Some people argue that there is no reason to pay NHK.

 In those days, I lived by myself and was not well off. But I still paid the NHK subscription fee every month. When my professor heard this, he scolded me and gave me homework: “When the NHK collector next comes to your house, you must debate him or her. You have to turn him or her away at the door.”

I don’t know whether the professor was for or against paying the subscription fee to NHK. I suspect he just thought that I should not miss the opportunity to debate with a mature adult.

 I studied the arguments regarding paying the subscription fee to NHK. It was an interesting topic. I prepared hard for it. Then I waited for the NHK collector to show up.

 The NHK collector finally came to my house. He was a middle-aged man. I opened the door. Then I took a deep breath so that I could begin debating him. But, as I inhaled, I realized the battle was lost. He had terrible breath. Debate? No way! I gave him the money and let him go.

 I had read many books and simulated many arguments, but his bad breath blew all my preparations away: No one could debate without breathing.

 Now that I am a middle-aged man, I really should take care of my breath.

 

Picture by Lightsource

Unlucky Age

 

Yakudoshi is a traditional Japanese idea that 42-year-old men must be careful of because many bad things happen at that age. Thus, some places hold special festivals to avoid unfortunate events. It depends on the area, but most festivals are organized by people who are 42 years old.

My town also has a festival of this kind. I took part in this festival a few years ago.

In the shrine in my town, they light a bonfire every day during January. Many people in Japan come to shrines in January. In the cold winter, the bonfire gives people warmth. People can also put old talismans into the bonfire.

The bonfires need tons of firewood. And who collects the firewood? The Yakudoshi guys do!

We did it on a Sunday morning in December, when we were in Yakudoshi. In the shrine is a small forest. We walked around the forest and collected firewood. We also found fallen trees and cut the trees for firewood. One of the best ways to avoid bad luck is working for shrines or society. This is one of our activities when we are in our unlucky age.

However, some members started to show signs of fatigue on their faces about one hour after we started to work. They were the white-collar workers who got good marks in school. For blue-collar workers, who always physically worked outdoors, collecting firewood is just an easy job. But for the white-collar workers, it was hard work.

A Yakudoshi lifestyle would bring about many effects on us. This firewood-collecting activity is not just a religious event. It could be a warning from our wise ancestors:

“You assume you are smart. But you do not exercise, and you don’t have a healthy body. Now you can’t keep up with others!”

 

Picture by Gorippa