Are Males Not Good at Caregiving?

 

 When I took care of my mother, who had Alzheimer’s disease, I was surprised at the unexpected responses. Some people who worked for welfare facilities treated me like a layperson. 

 My mother once needed 24-hour care. We used day service and short stay. My wife supported me. But I had taken care of my mother as the main caregiver for over 10 years. I was an expert at least in taking care of my mother. How could they treat me like a layperson?

 In most cases, caregivers are females. The care manager and most helpers who took care of my mother were females. I attended a governmental mutual-aid society for caregivers. The members were all females as well. Even a national TV station had come to our home to interview us because I was a rare male caregiver. There is an assumption that males are laypersons when it comes to caregiving.

But even I also had an experience in which I assumed that males are not good caregivers.

One day, I took my mother to a hospital for an X-ray. The radiographer was male. When my mother needed to move from the wheelchair to the bed, I was going to support her. But the radiographer said, “Not necessary. I will take care of her.” In a short moment, I suspected him and thought, He is a man. Can I trust him? But he moved my mother from the wheelchair to the bed better than I might have done.

That hospital was specialized for elderly patients. Of course he was a professional expert. I unconsciously assumed he was a layperson because he was a male.

If many males take part in caregiving, this assumption would fade away.

Picture by Shintako