Oversleep

Oversleep is the worst excuse for being late. An overslept person is usually scolded.

One of my favorite manga is Parasyte. It was published in the 1990s. The main character is a high school boy. But in his right hand, there is a monster who parasitizes the boy. The monster can talk. Its intelligence is no less than a human being’s.

One day, the boy oversleeps. He complains to the monster: “If you awaken, you should wake me up.” The monster says: “You overslept because you needed sleep … taking rest is a good thing.” He is a monster. He doesn’t care the boy might be late or be scolded.

A few days ago, I overslept. I was late. No one scolded me. But I was embarrassed. That was uncool.

But there was one who praised me. My smartwatch. My smartwatch always evaluates my sleep. That day’s score was better than other days. As if my smartwatch was saying, “Taking rest is a good thing.”

Dear friends, don’t be late. Don’t oversleep. But we are human beings. Sometimes, we will oversleep and be late. But if you have a parasite or a smartwatch on your hand, it will praise you.

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Picture by Juri Takai

Walking Alone at Night

 I believe all men and women have had such an experience.

 I am a man. So, I will start the story from the man’s point of view. A man walks on a street at night. A woman is also walking ahead in the distance in the same direction. The man is faster than the woman. The man approaches the woman slowly. The woman realizes it and runs away from the man. I have experienced that many times. I was always shocked about that. I am not a pervert.

 But from a woman’s perspective, it is natural. An approaching man at night might be scary.

 So, I decided on my rules for when I walk alone at night: Don’t approach a woman. If I see a woman walking alone, I must change the way I am going. Or I should cross the street, then pass her on the opposite side of the street. Otherwise, I rest on the street for a while. When she disappears from my sight, I start going in my direction again. I should not scare a woman. I don’t want to be suspected of being a pervert.

 One night, my wife and I were walking down a street. I had never suspected we could scare anyone. We were a couple. I think couples are harmless. We walked and chatted joyfully. There was a woman ahead at a distance. We slowly approached the woman. Then, the woman started to run away. Why?

 I had forgotten some important information. My wife always wears boyish styles. She looks like a male. Her voice is lower than a typical female’s. Her voice sounds male. From a long distance, we didn’t look like a husband and a wife. We looked like a pair of males. To the woman, we were scary.

 I told my wife that I was shocked. She said, “It is always happening.” She didn’t worry about it.

 My wife does not care, but I care.

 From now on, we need to keep to my rules when we walk together down a street at night.

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Picture by Shirata

 

Gardener

 I live at my parents’ house. My parents passed away. I took over it. This is my house now. It is a detached house which has a yard.

 When I was young, I lived in a condominium downtown by myself. At that time, I couldn’t even imagine that there was a bothersome job at a detached house. Weeding the yard.

 Weeding is not an exciting job. It is a boring and bothersome one. It is too hot in the summer. It is too cold in the winter.

 I can skip it in midwinter. But except for that, I need to weed almost every day.

 I bought coveralls for weeding. Then I try to believe: “I am a professional gardener.” When I wear the coveralls, I need to keep the yard clean for the owner. The owner is, of course, me.

 I try to imagine I am a professional gardener, but I am not. So, I listen to music through my speaker. I think a real professional gardener does not do that. It is OK. I am a fake gardener.

 One day, one of my wife’s friends came to our home. The friend took her daughter. She was an elementary school student. She saw me when I was weeding our yard. And she asked her mother: “Why is the gardener listening to music?”

 She assumed I was a professional gardener because I was wearing coveralls. Actually, I am the owner of the yard. But I pretended to be a gardener. If she knew I was the owner of the garden, I would have had to give her candy or a snack. I think the owner of a beautiful garden should give candy or a snack to children.

 It is possible to think my neighbors also assumed I was a gardener. They could think my family might be very rich because we can hire a professional gardener every day.

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Picture by TamTam

 

Arghhh!

When I was a child, one of my favorite manga was Dokaben. Dokaben is a story about baseball teams in high schools. They play baseball to win the National High School Championship. Most of the characters scream “arghhh!” at crucial moments.

I was a child. For a child, high school students were almost adults. I assumed when I was an adult I would scream “arghhh!” at crucial moments like the characters in Dokaben.

My wife is working for theaters as a stage lighting artist. Sometimes she needs to work till night. In that case, I have to eat dinner alone. When I lived by myself, I didn’t wash dishes after meals. I would wash the dishes when I prepared to make the next meal. But I can’t be lazy like that now.

If I wash the dishes immediately after the dinner, that is OK. But if I lie on the sofa, I don’t feel like washing the dishes. It is bothersome. The sofa is too comfortable to leave. But I have to wash the dishes.

Then I scream “arghhh!” and stand up. Then I wash the dishes.

Don’t invent a time machine. If I knew I would grow up to be an adult who screams when I wash dishes, then as a child, I would have cried.

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Picture by Masaya Itagaki

Hiropon

 Hiropon is the name of an illegal drug, but it was legal until a few years after WWⅡended. Before that, Hiropon was very common in Japan. In an old manga, there is an episode in which a child mistakenly takes Hiropon, and she is stoned. It was a comedy manga.

The theatrical person and writer Ramo Nakazima wrote a book about his experiences with illegal drugs. He said Hiropon is the worst drug ever.

             Older people than me know “Hiropon” as the name of an illegal drug. If you didn’t know, the sound of the “Hiropon” is a pretty word. It sounds like a joyful toy for children.

When I was a script writer for not-famous young comedians, we talked about Hiropon. A young comedian liked the sound of the word “Hiropon.” She wanted to use the word in her performance. She showed the performance to the manager. The manager scolded her very loudly. The manager was older than me. He knew Hiropon is not a laughing matter.

A few years ago, I went to a theater to watch a performance by clowns. There was a shocking clown at the theater.

His stage name was Hiropon. Maybe his real name might be Hiroshi or Hirokazu. But he is too young to know Hiropon is the name of an illegal drug.

But it could be a good thing. The name of an illegal drug has been forgotten by almost everyone. A new era is about to come.

 

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Picture by Kagehisa Muzirushi

Symmetry

 

I have three cats.

One morning, when I was brushing my teeth, I saw a strange cat approaching in the mirror. I assumed a stray cat had come into my home. I was surprised and looked back to see the cat.

Actually, it was my family’s cat, Konatsu.

It was strange, but when I saw her in the mirror, I assumed she was a different cat.

Her cat pattern is not symmetrical. Everything in a mirror is mirror-reversed. When I saw her through the mirror, I thought she was a different cat.

If your cat is not symmetrically patterned, please look at the cat through a mirror.

You will hardly recognize the cat.

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Handsome Effect

When I was an elementary school student, one of my favorite TV animation series was Galaxy Express 999. The “999” is pronounced “three nine.” It was very popular at that time. They made a movie version. I asked my mother to take me to the theater. I watched that, and I was surprised.

The main character, Tetsuro, had a different face from the TV series. In the TV series, Tetsuro had a unique face. But in the movie version, Tetsuro had a handsome face.

Now I am an adult and work for a kind of entertainment business, I know why it happened.

Tetsuro is a brave and gentle boy. In the TV series, they could show his charm over a long period of time. But in the movie version, they had to attract the audience in a short time. One easy way to do that might have been by changing the main character’s face to be handsome.

But I was a child then. I couldn’t accept the new Tetsuro. I was confused in my seat in the theater.

By the way, a young woman sat in the next seat to me. She looked like she was alone.

Galaxy Express 999 is a story about a journey from Earth to the Andromeda Galaxy. They take the Express 999 space train. There are two main characters. One is Tetsuro. The other one is a mysterious, beautiful lady, Maetel. Naturally, Tetsuro started to love Maetel. In the middle of the movie version, Tetsuro declared his love to Maetel in the dining car. It was a very awkward but very sincere declaration. But Maetel didn’t answer him with any words. She just kept silent with a sad face. This was the key of the main story.

At that time, I surely heard the woman next to me talking to herself.

At that time, I was a child, and I couldn’t understand what she was saying and why she was talking. Later, when I reached puberty, I understood what it was all about.

The woman next to me was answering Tetsuro’s declaration instead of Maetel.

I am a man. From the point of view of men, Galaxy Express 999 is a story about a journey with a mysterious, beautiful lady. But from the point of view of women, the story might be a journey with a young, brave, and gentle boy. If you can choose the boy’s face, handsome is better.

I don’t know if the woman next to me knew Tetsuro’s old face. But changing Tetsuro’s face to be more handsome might have increased the female audience.

Good-looking characters have the power to increase an audience. First of all, I am not sure, but if Maetel was not a beautiful lady, I might not love Galaxy Express 999 so much.

Of course, we can easily make products without good-looking people. But we need other attractive aspects to increase the audience without good-looking people.

This is a tough problem.

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