Celebrate the Birthdays

            When I was an elementary school student, my mother declared to all the family members: “From now on, we will never celebrate family members’ birthdays! Instead of that, we will have a gorgeous dinner in a high-class French restaurant once a year!”

 

I don’t recommend this. However, it might be one of the solutions to the birthday presents problem. Birthday presents become more difficult and more expensive year by year.

 

My mother became famous and busy during those days. She was popular and busy, but we were not rich. My mother was a creative woman. She invented the easy and cheap birthday present system. No one could say anything against my mother among my family members.

 

             Actually, from that day on, we have never celebrated our birthdays. Our family lost all the traditions of giving birthday presents. I started to forget my family members’ birthdays until I became an adult and left my parents’ house.

 

My mother was famous. Sometimes, she was on TV or newspapers. Prosperity makes friends. She was always surrounded by many “friends.” Once, when I returned to my parents’ house, one of the “friends” scolded me, saying, “I heard you never called your mother on her birthday. You have never given her a birthday present. You are an unfilial son!”

 

 I didn’t say that my mother started it. If you make a rule, you have to keep the rule. If you didn’t give birthday presents to a child, you would never be given birthday presents from the child, too. I didn’t get birthday presents from my parents. I have never given a birthday present to my parents either, but when my mother got Alzheimer’s disease, I lived with her for fourteen years and gave her care. After she moved to a nursing home, I visited her every week for six years.

 

The “friend” who scolded me vanished after my mother got Alzheimer’s disease. She had never taken part in caregiving. We lost contact with her. I don’t even know where she is now. If you know where she is, let me know. I have something to say to her.

 

When I started caring for my mother, I regretted that I didn’t memorize my parents’ birthdays. Governmental offices, hospitals, and nursing homes required me to fill out forms. I needed to write down my parents’ birthdays. I couldn’t remember. Hence, I had to check their birthdays every time. Because of complex reasons, my family name and my parents’ family names are different. All the clerks gave me a dubious look as if I were a fishy person. I believe caring for one’s parents is a good thing. However, most people doubted me. I almost lost my motivation.

 

Dear friends, celebrate your dear people’s birthdays. If you are too busy to celebrate your important people’s birthdays, your lifestyle is wrong. Remember, if you don’t celebrate the ones you care about, you will soon forget their birthdays.

 

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Picture by Kawatatsu