Celebrate the Birthdays

            When I was an elementary school student, my mother declared to all the family members: “From now on, we will never celebrate family members’ birthdays! Instead of that, we will have a gorgeous dinner in a high-class French restaurant once a year!”

 

I don’t recommend this. However, it might be one of the solutions to the birthday presents problem. Birthday presents become more difficult and more expensive year by year.

 

My mother became famous and busy during those days. She was popular and busy, but we were not rich. My mother was a creative woman. She invented the easy and cheap birthday present system. No one could say anything against my mother among my family members.

 

             Actually, from that day on, we have never celebrated our birthdays. Our family lost all the traditions of giving birthday presents. I started to forget my family members’ birthdays until I became an adult and left my parents’ house.

 

My mother was famous. Sometimes, she was on TV or newspapers. Prosperity makes friends. She was always surrounded by many “friends.” Once, when I returned to my parents’ house, one of the “friends” scolded me, saying, “I heard you never called your mother on her birthday. You have never given her a birthday present. You are an unfilial son!”

 

 I didn’t say that my mother started it. If you make a rule, you have to keep the rule. If you didn’t give birthday presents to a child, you would never be given birthday presents from the child, too. I didn’t get birthday presents from my parents. I have never given a birthday present to my parents either, but when my mother got Alzheimer’s disease, I lived with her for fourteen years and gave her care. After she moved to a nursing home, I visited her every week for six years.

 

The “friend” who scolded me vanished after my mother got Alzheimer’s disease. She had never taken part in caregiving. We lost contact with her. I don’t even know where she is now. If you know where she is, let me know. I have something to say to her.

 

When I started caring for my mother, I regretted that I didn’t memorize my parents’ birthdays. Governmental offices, hospitals, and nursing homes required me to fill out forms. I needed to write down my parents’ birthdays. I couldn’t remember. Hence, I had to check their birthdays every time. Because of complex reasons, my family name and my parents’ family names are different. All the clerks gave me a dubious look as if I were a fishy person. I believe caring for one’s parents is a good thing. However, most people doubted me. I almost lost my motivation.

 

Dear friends, celebrate your dear people’s birthdays. If you are too busy to celebrate your important people’s birthdays, your lifestyle is wrong. Remember, if you don’t celebrate the ones you care about, you will soon forget their birthdays.

 

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Picture by Kawatatsu

Firing a Teacher

              I was once a member of a language class. All the members had already graduated from their schools. The class was managed by the students. We paid a membership fee every time, and we gave all the money to a teacher. That was simple accounting. The class continued for a few years.

 

 One time, a teacher became too busy, which created a problem. She often skipped the class or came in late. She didn’t give us any advance notice for doing that. She could have personal problems. However, all the students were also busy. All of us managed to make time for the class.

 

The students decided to meet and discuss the situation, and we decided to fire her. Actually, I was a main member of the students at that time. I found a new teacher, and now I had to tell our ex-teacher: “You are fired.”

 

             This was a very difficult job for me. She was a nice person. Maybe she was not good at managing time. First of all, she was the person who invited me to the class. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings.

 

I can still remember the night I called her. I was at a park downtown when I decided to do it. I called her and told a lie that we were too busy to continue the class, so we decided to take a break. I said that we all thanked her for teaching us for a long time. I didn’t tell her we already found a new teacher. I didn’t tell her that we just kicked her out. I think she believed my story. She accepted it. I felt she might have been relieved when I told her about it.

 

I finished my hardest work. Right after, I called my classmate. I reported what happened. My classmates also felt relieved.

 

Afterwards, I called our new teacher. Now, we didn’t have any teachers. Officially, we could invite the new teacher. I said, “I look forward to your class” in a happy tone.

 

I finished all the work for that day. I sat down on the bench to relax, and then I realized a homeless guy was glaring at me. He might have heard all my lines. My stories were contradictory. He might have thought I was a fishy person. It is possible to think that he hates a contradictory and fishy person. That might be why he was homeless. Our society is contradictory and fishy.

 

We continued the class for a few years. The new teacher was good. However, after the Great East Japan Earthquake, we couldn’t continue the class anymore. My city was far from the epicenter, but all of us were affected indirectly. Schools, companies, theater groups, and any organizations found it hard to continue.

 

When people are together, there are many kinds of problems. We tend to look at the leaders of the organization. We should not forget about the shadow workers who actually carry out the organization’s work.

 

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Great Reader

 I have been a great reader since I was a child.

 I guess the reason was that I needed to read a book to protect myself.

 I have an elder brother. He is not a nice person. He always bullied me. My mother never helped me. But if my brother disturbed my reading, my mother would scold him. She thought disturbing someone while they were reading a book was worse than bullying. So, I had to read books to avoid being bullied by my elder brother all the time.

 I often used the school library. I also visited the city library with my friends by bicycle every Saturday.

 Once, my university and workplace were very far from my home. It took about two and a half hours to commute. But this was a joyful time for me. I could read books on the train.

 My home was at the edge of Nagoya city. I needed to take trains to do anything. If I needed to meet someone, I needed to take the train. Usually, I needed to transfer to another train. Most people hate wasting time on transportation. But I loved it because I could read books. In my case, being on a train is the best situation for reading a book.

 I married my wife. There was the pandemic.

 One day, I realized that my reading time had drastically decreased.

 My wife is not a good talker. But she is a nice person. Talking with a nice person is joyful. I read almost no books at home.

 Since the pandemic, I can work and meet people without transportation. Before the pandemic, I took the train to go somewhere every day. But now, I only take the train a few times a month.

　Furthermore, I have my smartphone now. I enjoy games on my smartphone. Sometimes, I also read electronic books on my smartphone. But it is only a few times a month. I almost forget the content.

 I am not a great reader anymore.

 I had an opportunity to talk with a talented young playwright. She said the shocking words: “I hate reading a book.” When I was young, senior playwrights always appealed to how many books they had read.

 A new era is about to come.

 If I had been born in this era, I might stick to my smartphone all day and night. In this case, my mother would never have protected me from my elder brother.

But I am sure we can learn from smartphone games or smartphone movies the same as books. I think they are just different types of media for individual use.

Like me, most great readers didn’t use to have good conversation partners at home. Or most of them needed to spend time on transportation. Since smartphones’ spread, they have another option to spend their time.

A famous Japanese novelist, Osamu Dazai, wrote, “Not reading books is proof that a person is not lonely.”

I think we can say the same thing about smartphones and games. If a person is not lonely, they never need any book, smartphone, or game.

Most people can’t spend their lifetime without being lonely. Books used to be our only friends when we were lonely. But we have other options now. I think it is a good thing.

 

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Picture by Yuka