When
I was an elementary school student, my mother declared to all the family
members: “From now on, we will never celebrate family members’ birthdays!
Instead of that, we will have a gorgeous dinner in a high-class French
restaurant once a year!”
I don’t recommend this. However, it might
be one of the solutions to the birthday presents problem. Birthday presents
become more difficult and more expensive year by year.
My mother became famous and busy during
those days. She was popular and busy, but we were not rich. My mother was a creative
woman. She invented the easy and cheap birthday present system. No one could
say anything against my mother among my family members.
Actually,
from that day on, we have never celebrated our birthdays. Our family lost all the
traditions of giving birthday presents. I started to forget my family members’
birthdays until I became an adult and left my parents’ house.
My mother was famous. Sometimes, she was on
TV or newspapers. Prosperity makes friends. She was always surrounded by many
“friends.” Once, when I returned to my parents’ house, one of the “friends”
scolded me, saying, “I heard you never called your mother on her birthday. You
have never given her a birthday present. You are an unfilial son!”
I
didn’t say that my mother started it. If you make a rule, you have to keep the
rule. If you didn’t give birthday presents to a child, you would never be given
birthday presents from the child, too. I didn’t get birthday presents from my
parents. I have never given a birthday present to my parents either, but when
my mother got Alzheimer’s disease, I lived with her for fourteen years and gave
her care. After she moved to a nursing home, I visited her every week for six
years.
The “friend” who scolded me vanished after
my mother got Alzheimer’s disease. She had never taken part in caregiving. We
lost contact with her. I don’t even know where she is now. If you know where
she is, let me know. I have something to say to her.
When I started caring for my mother, I regretted
that I didn’t memorize my parents’ birthdays. Governmental offices, hospitals,
and nursing homes required me to fill out forms. I needed to write down my parents’
birthdays. I couldn’t remember. Hence, I had to check their birthdays every
time. Because of complex reasons, my family name and my parents’ family names
are different. All the clerks gave me a dubious look as if I were a fishy
person. I believe caring for one’s parents is a good thing. However, most
people doubted me. I almost lost my motivation.
Dear friends, celebrate your dear people’s
birthdays. If you are too busy to celebrate your important people’s birthdays,
your lifestyle is wrong. Remember, if you don’t celebrate the ones you care
about, you will soon forget their birthdays.
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by Kawatatsu