Wheelchair

 

 

              My late father hated using a wheelchair. He had difficulty walking. He could walk very slowly, but he always refused to ride a wheelchair throughout his lifetime.

              Honestly speaking as a caregiver, if he took a wheelchair, it made my life easier. Following his weak walking was harder. If he could go with a wheelchair, I could move at my normal pace. We could move faster. Furthermore, it would clearly explain that I was a caregiver. Other people could easily understand that I was a caregiver. Maybe I looked like a good man. Please imagine a middle-aged man who stalks a weakly walking old man. No one can understand what he is doing. He can be a suspicious man. He can be a robber. I’d always wanted him to use a wheelchair.

              Still, I think my father was right.

              For an old man whose condition has no problems, walking is good exercise. Walking increases healthy conditions. It makes one’s life longer. Caregivers should not take away that opportunity. If an old man has the willingness and ability to walk, the caregiver should not force the person to use a wheelchair. That might be seen as the caregiver’s selfishness.

              When I took care of my father, I never forced him to use a wheelchair. I just followed his slow walking. People used to stare at me. I think I was a good caregiver. I just watched over him, but people couldn’t understand. On TV or movies, caregiving is always outright, like steering a wheelchair and meal assistance, but based on my experience, most caregiving practices were not simple like those.

              My father passed away without using a wheelchair at all.

              When I age, I should avoid a wheelchair like my father. I want to walk as long as I can, but it could take up much of the caregiver’s time. Most caregivers might be busy, like I used to be. I hope I will be taken care of by not-so-busy caregivers in the future.

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Playing a Priest

 

 

              When I lived with my mother, who had Alzheimer’s disease, I used to play an original game with my mother. I named it “playing a priest.”

              Caregiving for an Alzheimer’s disease patient is very hard. I needed to take care of my mother. People who were the same age as me were enjoying life. They could enjoy jobs, hobbies, and normal home lives. I was almost a shut-in. I needed to spend much time with my mother, who couldn’t even communicate with me. When I thought about my life, it made my mind blue. I was wasting my life.

              Then I invented the “playing a priest” game.

              I was trying to assume that I was not taking care of my mother. I tried to assume that I was a priest in a shrine. The shrine enshrined this kind of goddess. Japanese Shinto deities are more like Greek myths. Sometimes they might make trouble. Japanese priests are always calm and graceful. I always spoke the most polite words to my mother because I was a priest who worked for a goddess.

              This is a good way to treat an Alzheimer’s patient. If the caregivers use polite words, the patients tend to be calm. It was useful for my anger management. I was a priest. A priest never gets angry at a goddess. The goddess makes many troubles, but the priest accepts all of them.

              One day my mother was returned from a day service and saw our house. She spoke. “Where is here? Is this a shrine?”

              I didn’t mention that I had been playing a priest in front of my mother, but somehow she felt that our house had the atmosphere of a shrine.

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Single-Use Suit

  

             A friend of mine taught at a university. When I published a book about caring for my mother who had Alzheimer’s disease, she invited me to her class as a guest speaker.

             My job did not require me to wear a suit at the workplace, but I wanted to buy a nice suit for this. It was a good opportunity to have a nice suit, so I bought a really good one.

             I spoke in front of her students, who shoulder hopes for Japan’s future, with a brand new expensive nice suit. Having a nice suit was great. It gave me confidence. If I had an opportunity to visit some official place, I could come with the suit and confidence.

             Short after that, I spent a month in a hospital. I lost a lot of weight. I had been a tubby type, so that was good change for my health. But that expensive suit would never fit me anymore. If I wore it, I would look like a gangster from an old movie.

             Now, I have kept that weight off. If I maintain my weight, the suit could be a single-use suit. I don’t want gain weight again, for the sake of my health.

             Either way, I didn’t waste the money. I invested in making a good impression on the students, who are Japan’s future.

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