This old saying is popular in East Asia. Mencius, also known as Mang-Tze or Mang-Tzu, was a Confucian philosopher during the Warring States Period in China. Some people say Mencius is the second-greatest Confucian philosopher. The greatest is Confucius.
When
Mencius was a child, he and his mother moved to a house near a graveyard.
Mencius started to play funerals. His mother hated that. So, they moved to a
house near a market. But he started to play merchant. His mother hated that.
Finally, they moved to a house near a school. He started to play student. Then,
he became a great philosopher. Generally, this saying suggests to us that we
should give children good educational environments.
Mencius
is almost a legendary person. I don’t know if this story is truth or fiction.
But I think this story has a deeper meaning than is generally believed.
I don’t
think near a school is the best environment. The most important thing is that
Mencius had experience playing funerals and merchants. Mencius’s mother hated
those. But if they had first moved to a house near a school, I think Mencius
couldn’t have become such a great philosopher.
In a
graveyard, people move in religious rules. Religiously good people will be
praised. Rich or highly educated people are not directly powerful. In our
society, people partly move in religious rules.
In a
market, people move in market rules. Rich people and people who have attractive
goods have the advantage here. Religiously good and highly educated people
don’t have direct power.
In a
school, people move in school rules. Clever or highly educated people have the
advantage here. Religiously good and rich people don’t have power directly.
Roughly
said, our society may move based on these three complexly mixed sets of rules.
Our society is part graveyard, part market, and part school.
The
important thing is that Mencius had experience observing people in a graveyard
and a market. He not only observed but also played. It might have given him
deeper consideration. That consideration could be what made him a great
philosopher.
I think
“Mencius’ mother moved three times” means, “Let children experience various
things.”
If the
order of their moving had been different, Mencius could have become a great
religious leader or a great merchant.
However,
moving is a very stressful experience for a child. If you have a child, you
can’t move easily. When I was a child, some of my best friends had to move to a
different town for their parents’ reasons. Those are hard memories for me. Now,
I am an adult. I can understand that life is difficult to control. Sometimes,
we need to move and ignore children’s feelings. I think “Mencius’ mother moved
three times” will encourage people in these situations. If your parenting
succeeds and your child becomes a great person, you can make up a good reason
for moving.
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